


Light Banter

by PlotholeFragments



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2019-03-23 03:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13778874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlotholeFragments/pseuds/PlotholeFragments
Summary: The story of a titan and a hunter who will not stand idly by and watch the Darkness take the last of the Light... oh who are we kidding, it's a couple of clowns who like shooting stuff. Not entirely serious.





	1. House of Devils

### House of Devils

The titan walked up to Zavala. "Vanguard," he said politely but with a smile, holding a data chip between two of his fingers, "you put out a bounty on Sepiks Prime?"

Zavala nodded. "He casts a great shadow over our city," he said with his usual dramatics. "He must be eliminated."

The titan nodded and handed the chip to his ghost who promptly filed it away. "I'll get right on that, then," he said.

"Not alone, you won't!" Cayde-6, the hunter vanguard, called from across the table. He turned to a hunter standing beside him. "You want to help hot-shot over here take care of business?"

The hunter and the titan sized each other up for a moment. He was a human, male, with unkempt long hair and a shadow around his eyes. She was an awoken with light freckles on her face, her purple-streaked hair tied in a bun.

Finally the hunter smirked. "I mean, I could always use him for heavy ammo if I run out."

The titan smiled back. "Always happy to be the cannon fodder, ma'am."

* * *

"Since when are you happy to be cannon fodder?" the titan's ghost said once they were aboard his ship.

"Since always," the titan protested weakly. "That's how I patrol, you know that."

"Yes, I know that," the ghost said, well past exasperated. "Who do you think keeps rebuilding you after you get blown up?"

"Hey, now, I happen to think I do a lot more of the blowing up than getting blown up."

"Oh, sorry, my mistake," the ghost said, not sorry at all. "You do your 'RARG TITAN SMASH' thing, blow up almost everything in the area, and then have your guts pulled out by the one thrall you didn't kill!"

"Yeah," the titan said with a smile, "good times."

If the ghost had had hands, it would have slapped its face with one of them.

* * *

"So," the titan said, "the most important question." He turned to his partner. "Is Sepiks Prime a boy servitor or a girl servitor? To the left."

"Good question," the hunter said, throwing her grenade to her left. "Wait, do servitors even have genders?"

The titan cocked his head. "Honestly," he said, reloading his hand cannon, "I'm not sure _any_ of the fallen have genders. Ghost, how are we doing?"

"The fallen have beefed up their security," one of the ghosts said. "It's like the whole thing's wired to a--"

He was cut off by a loud siren echoing through the refinery.

"I'll work quicker," he said sheepishly.

The hunter reloaded her sniper rifle. "I'll take captains?"

The titan nodded. "I'll take the floor."

* * *

The titan looked up at Sepiks Prime.

And up.

And up.

"I can't smash that," he said quietly.

"I can't slice that," the hunter said.

They both pulled out their rocket launchers.

* * *

The battle was hard fought, but it was over. The titan and the hunter sat on the edge of one of the old catwalks, savoring the moment.

"We should do this again sometime," the titan said, then caught himself. "Can we do this again sometime?"

"Eh, you were ok," the hunter said, though he could hear her smirk. "Yeah, we should do this again." She looked around. "Have we checked for any salvage?"

The titan motioned to one end of the room. "We can pick through the remains, I suppose."

The hunter shrugged and walked over. With a shout, she spotted one particularly shaped piece and held it up for the titan to see.

The titan laughed. "Guess we answered that question!"


	2. The Sword of Crota

"Alright, Guardians," Cayde-6 yelled to the small assembly that had gathered just outside the city. "We've been seeing more and more of these Scorch Cannons in the field, so here's how to use one if you ever come across it."

He hefted the large cannon onto his shoulder (with a mutter of "Never mind, I don't miss the field.") and continued his instructions. "Now, the charges used by the Scorch Cannon can have a delayed detonation. Just hold down the trigger to charge the detonation. So you can have just a quick blast like so:"

He shot a nearby piece of scrap metal. It quickly dissolved into ash. The guardians murmured in awe.

"Right," Cayde said, "but we can go bigger." He shot a empty space and let it charge for a full second, causing an explosion twice as big as before.

"Is the armory going to get some of these?" the titan asked the hunter. She just nodded in agreement.

"Now," Cayde said, clearing his throat (or whatever the Exo equivalent was). "In order for you to properly appreciate the power of this weapon, you need to see what it's fully capable of."

He shot a collapsing wall further in the distance and let the shot charge. And charge. And charge.

After a full five seconds of charging, the shot exploded in an impressive plume of fire that took half the wall with it.

The titan and the hunter watched in wide-eyed wonder. "Boom boom," they both said softly.

* * *

"Headed back to the tower, Hunter?" the titan said as the group dispersed.

She shrugged. "Probably. Might try and get a few rounds in the Crucible."

The titan exhaled sharply. "Yeah, I can't handle that." He motioned toward the sky. "My ghost found something in the Cryptarch's records about a sword on the moon, and I was going to go check it out." He smiled faintly and opened his mouth to say something else, but apparently thought better of it and just said, "See you around," with a smirk and a quick "peace" sign.

The hunter watched him transmat away. Her ghost looked from her to the spot where the titan was and back to her.

"Don't tell me," the ghost said with an air of resignation, "we're going to the moon."

* * *

"I can't stop myself!" the titan yelled from his perch above the swarm prince's outpost as he cleared out the acolytes. "Boom, headshot! Boom, headshot!"

"Behind you!" his ghost yelled.

The titan jumped off his perch and turned around just in time to see the swarm prince behind him raising his sword. He pulled the trigger...

...and the hand cannon just clicked.

"Crap, reload!" he yelled, ducking for cover. "Crap, crap, crap..." He tossed the old cartridge and fumbled for a new one. "Crap, crap, crappity..." He tried all three sides of the two-sided cartridge. "Crap-for-brains, crap, cr--finally!" He jumped out from behind the pillar, aimed the pistol...

And watched as the prince's head exploded into fiery cinders followed by the rest of his body.

The titan watched his enemy fall, then looked quizzically at his own gun. "Headshot?" he said, his voice squeaking more than he would ever admit.

"Yeah," his ghost said, looking at a sparrow making its way toward them, "but not yours."

The hunter hopped off the sparrow and brandished her sniper rifle. "Well met, Titan?" she said.

The titan nodded. "Well met, Hunter." He shuffled his feet awkwardly. "You know I had it sorted, right?"

"If you say so," the hunter said. "So what's next?"

* * *

"You seem awfully fond of 'crap,'" the hunter said as they ran down a hallway in The Gatehouse.

"Eh," the titan said sheepishly, "I think it has to do with something my past life liked."

The hunter cocked her head. "You before you became a Guardian? How is that a 'past life'?"

"Well," the titan said, a little taken aback by the question, "I mean, I lived a life, I died, and then Ghost here took my biological material, pumped it full of Light, and here I am." He reflexively checked to make sure his weapons were fully loaded. "So if you go by pure biological data, yeah, I'm the same person, but if you go by souls or some other metaphysical construct, then who's to say it's the same soul inhabiting this body?"

He shrugged again. "And even if you don't, there's often the idea of being a 'different person' as you grow and change. So, two out of three say I'm a different person, so I call it my past life to keep it straight in my head." He shook his head. "Anyway, that's me. What about you?"

"Hmm," she said, considering her answer. The two waited at the end of the hallway, wanting to finish the conversation before diving back into battle. "I agree that it's what's inside that makes someone. Call it a soul, an ego, whatever." She took a deep breath and looked down. "I have to believe that the honor, the integrity that I have... I have to believe that some of it is part of me, has always been part of me, and isn't just a product of whatever Light was used to make me." She looked back at him. "Anyway, that's me."

The titan nodded. "Thanks for sharing," he said sincerely, then motioned out to the open area ahead of them. "I'll try and draw the thrall, you headshot the wizard?"

* * *

"Grab the sword," the titan's ghost said. "That should draw them out."

The titan reached for the sword, then stopped and looked at the hunter. "Want to take it, Bladedancer?"

"Careful," her ghost said. "Its power is dark."

"You've got this," the titan said, tapping his fist against the center of his chest.

The hunter nodded and grabbed the sword in both hands.

Almost immediately thralls started to crawl out of the floor, with acolytes pouring in from the sides.

"Okay," the titan said, brandishing his shotgun. "They'll be coming for you, so if you keep moving maybe I can pick off some of th--"

With a war cry, the hunter ran past the titan and swung the sword wildly into the sea of thrall, cleaving three or four with each swing. It wasn't as fluid as a bladedancer's usual approach: both feet remained firmly on the ground, bracing against the comically large sword. But the sight was still enough to make the titan watch closely, appreciating the way the blade curved through the air, the way the hunter kept herself perfectly balanced, the way the thrall just fell to pieces as soon as the sword touched them...

"Eyes up, Guardian!" the titan's ghost yelled.

"Right," the titan said, cocking his shotgun.

* * *

"I don't understand," the hunter's ghost said. "It looks like your arc blade is charged, but... through the sword?"

The hunter scored another hit on the swarm prince and took off for the other side of the room. "So can I dance with it?" she yelled back.

"Only one way to find out," the ghost said. "The cryptarchs didn't say anything about this."

"Over here!" the titan yelled from a few feet away. "I'll cover you!"

The hunter ran over next to the titan. "Here goes," she said. With a deep breath, she stepped into a dance...

...and tripped over her foot, nearly falling on her face. The titan shot two thrall that had gotten a little close. "You okay?" he said.

"Yeah," the hunter said, adjusting her grip and replanting her feet. "Just can't dance with this."

The hunter was silent for a moment. Then, "Try smashing it."

A beat. "I'm a hunter."

"I know," the titan said, "but it's a overcompensating sword. Sounds very 'titan' to me." He shot an acolyte. "Just throw as much light into it as you possibly can and smash it on the ground. No finesse."

The swarm prince was climbing the steps toward them. "If this doesn't work and we both die," the hunter said, "whatever's left of me is kicking your butt." With another yell, she rushed toward the prince and smashed.

* * *

As the last prince disintegrated, so did the sword.

"Aww," the hunter said. "I was getting used to it."

"Eh, you know the rules," the titan said. "We can't have anything that makes our job easier. Or fun."

"Yeah, smashing stuff is definitely not fun," the hunter said, the sarcasm obvious.

The titan chuckled. "Seriously, though," he said, "how are you feeling?"

"You mean after picking up a sword we found by tracking the Light of the other guardians it killed?" The hunter took a breath. "I'm ok. I think..." She considered her words. "I think the sword was just a conduit. The Darkness came from Crota, not from the sword. But there were echoes in it of those guardians..."

"Crying out for justice?"

"Well..." the hunter said, the smirk audible in her voice, "if you can call an overwhelming sense of 'kick his ass!' 'justice,' then yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys I forgot how to funny for a minute there.


	3. Chamber of Night

"I like to think I'm a pretty open-minded person," the hunter said, sitting down on the summoning pit floor.

The titan picked up one last bit of loot ("Oooo, weapon parts!") and slid over to her. "I'd agree with that. You hang out with me, for one."

"And I'm not one to just throw around words like 'abomination,'" she continued.

"But?"

She motioned to the remains of Phogoth's chains. "That was an abomination, even for an ogre."

The titan nodded sagely. "Too true."

"I hate to interrupt you two," the titan's ghost said in his flat, long-suffering manner, "but we've got an urgent incoming message."

"On all channels," the hunter's ghost continued. "From The Speaker."

The two guardians sat up straighter, and the titan motioned for his ghost to continue.

The Speaker's voice played into their headsets. "Nothing is more important now. We believe the Hive are engaged in a ritual that is draining The Traveler of its Light. Whatever power they wield must be understood... and destroyed."

The guardians looked at each other. The hunter asked her ghost, "Do we know how to find the ritual?"

"It could be just about anywhere in the Hellmouth," the ghost said. "If I could scan the deepest cracks, I could triangulate it..."

"Can we scan one and you take the other?" the titan said, motioning to his ghost.

* * *

"I can't say I don't like the view," the hunter said, looking out over the chasm of the Hellmouth. "Except, you know, for the part where it was carved out by a bunch of space zombies."

"That does put a damper on things," her ghost said. "Okay, that's one. Should we go find the titan?"

"In a second." The hunter took one last lingering look at the Hellmouth before jumping down. She and the ghost ran over to a old outpost nearby that happened to be sitting on the other crack.

It was also overrun with Fallen, and all of them were aiming at the titan in the corner.

"Shotgun!" he yelled, shooting a dreg in the face. "Shotgun!" A vandal went stumbling back. "Ghost, do you have it yet?"

"Hold on..."

"I don't have much--OUCH!" He took a hit on the shoulder from a vandal sniper. "Dude, I _just_ got this thing washed!"

The hunter sighed and pulled out her sniper rifle.

* * *

"Temple of Crota again," the titan sighed. "Too bad we can't stop by and pick up the sword on the way."

"What a pity," the hunter said, not sounding disappointed at all.

Suddenly their headsets buzzed with static. "What's going on?" the titan said.

"Not sure," his ghost said. "Someone's trying to establish contact."

"The Speaker?" the other ghost said.

The first ghost shook its...self. "No luck, too much interference. I'll try again once we get in the open."

They plodded along. "5 glim says it's a dating service for Fallen," the titan muttered.

The hunter snorted. "Hey, dreg girl, check me out. I've got twice as many arms... and you know what that means."

"My scorch cannon isn't the only thing that's oversized."

"The Kell's ships aren't the only things coming."

"Uh, guardians?" the titan's ghost said.

"You'll _shank_ me for the memories!"

"I won't _dreg_ up your past!"

"If you're quite finished," a new voice said into their headsets.

The guardians froze. "Who was that," the hunter whispered.

"I can't get a source," her ghost said.

"Guardians," the voice continued. It was vaguely female with hints of an Old Earth British accent. "I know what you're about to do. It's brave--or foolish; I can't tell with the two of you."

"Oh, come on," the titan groaned. "If I must die, let me die with a--"

"There are enemies out here you wouldn't believe," the voice interrupted, seemingly low on patience. "Go down, face the Hive, and if you survive, come find me."

With a quick buzz of static, she was gone.

The titan shuffled awkwardly. "Enigmatic much?" he said weakly.

The hunter shrugged. "Ghost, did you get anything?"

"Just some broken coordinates," it said. "Venus, northern hemisphere, Ishtar region." It shook itself. "What do we do now?"

With a sigh, the titan brandished his shotgun. "We go down," he said.

The hunter allowed herself an immature giggle.

* * *

"We've got a good position here," the titan said, shotgunning a thrall at the base of the staircase to the Chamber Of Night.

"Yeah," the hunter responded, "just so long as reinforcements don't come from be--"

A knight's roar echoed from behind them.

"Crap," they both muttered. Frantically looking for any sort of cover, they finally settled on the radiator-like fixtures on either side of the staircase. Steeling their resolve, they watched the first thralls crest the staircase.

The guardians and the thralls made eye contact.

The thralls ran closer.

The guardians aimed their weapons.

The thralls ran past.

"Wait, what?" the titan said as another group of acolytes ran past, a pair of knights in tow.

"What the crap just happened?" the titan said as the last of the wave left the stairs and entered the chamber.

"I'm not mad at it," the hunter said, pulling her sniper rifle back out.

* * *

The shard of the Traveler glowed with Light before disappearing, filling the two guardians with something resembling hope.

"And our friend said there are enemies on Venus _worse_ than this?" the titan's ghost said, exasperated. "Great."

"Oh, come on, Ghost," the titan said, twirling his pistol. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

"Be nice," the hunter said. "He's obviously not _thralled_ with the idea."

"I don't see why, I hear the _knight_ life is pretty good."

"I give up," the ghost said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come on ghost don't think of it as a punishment...


	4. Venus

"But I believe where our paths cross," the strange exo said, "ground could _break._ " She finished as she crushed the power core of a disabled Vex.

The titan and hunter just blinked.

"Have you heard of the Black Garden?" she said.

"Just stories," the titan began. "A few fragmented lege--"

"Yes," the hunter interrupted, her stance uncharacteristically tense.

The stranger nodded. "Find it. Rip out its heart. Only then will your traveller begin to heal."

The titan nodded. "Can you help us find it?"

The stranger shook her head. "My path is my own; I can't."

"The Awoken know where it is," the hunter said. Her voice was flat; her ghost hovered close to her spinning nervously.

"Ah, yes, the Awoken" the stranger said with a sigh. "Out there wavering between the Light and the Dark." She looked at the titan's ghost. "A side should always be taken, Little Light. Even if it's the wrong one..."

A sudden burst of activity on her comm prompted her to teleport away, holding her gun in a defensive position.

The titan snorted. "Okay, is she trying the enigmatic thing for real?" Not hearing a response, he shrugged and turned to the side. "So, how do we find... the... Awoken?"

The hunter and her ghost were gone.

"Ghost?" the titan said, "where'd they go?"

The ghost checked its connections. "Their ship's broken orbit. They're headed for the Reef." It turned to the titan. "You don't want to follow them, do you?"

The titan sighed. "I don't know much about the Awoken, but I've heard enough to know things between us and them are... complicated. If we show up guns blazing..." He stashed his weapons. "Let's head back to the Tower; keep an eye on the ship schedules and make sure she makes it home."

* * *

The titan surveyed the Ishtar Cliffs. "This looks like as good a spot as any," he muttered, driving the beacon into the ground between some paving stones.

"That's the last of them," his ghost said. "This'll help the city."

"Yeah," the titan said half-heartedly.

Another guardian--a warlock--ran up to him. "What's up, Titan?"

The titan turned and gave a slight bow. "Afternoon, Warlock. How's your patrol?"

The warlock shrugged. "Same old, same old. Zavala's got you on beacon duty?"

The titan shuffled awkwardly. "Yeah, didn't really have any good excuses, so..." He held up another beacon. "Guess I'll try to light this place up?"

The warlock didn't dignify that with a response. "Your other half around?" the warlock asked.

"No idea," the titan said, a little exasperation creeping in. "I haven't heard from her in a week."

"Hmmm," the warlock said, looking around. "I hear she's been spending a lot of time here. You'll probably find her if you keep looking."

The titan shrugged. "Who says she even wants me to find her?"

The warlock crossed his arms. "You can't see my face right now, so I'll tell you: I'm giving you a Look."

"With how many looks you give out, I'd think we'd have this war locked up by now."

"See, this right here is what I'm talking about. You two and your bad puns." He cuffed the titan on the shoulder. "Go find your partner before you both do something stupid."

* * *

The titan ducked around some crossfire between Fallen and Vex and forcefully shoved the beacon into the ground. "That's the last one."

"Good," his ghost said. "Let's get out of here."

"I'm wit--wait!" The titan held up a hand, watching a nearly invisible ripple weave through the fighting.

"Do you think that's...?"

His ghost groaned. Audibly. "She is going to be the death of you. Which will be the death of me."

The titan smiled to himself. "So it is her."

"Why." the ghost said. It wasn't a question. "Why do you continually throw yourself in more danger."

"Well, Ghost," the titan said, brandishing his pistol and following her deeper into the academy, "it is literally what you signed me up for."

* * *

"Ghost!" the hunter said, a little louder than she meant. "How much longer until I can dance?" She knifed a shank and jumped away.

"It'll be a while," her ghost said back. "You're one-third charged."

"Crap," she muttered, attempting another reload. "Where's that other servitor?"

"On the other side of the archive."

She knifed another vandal, stepped back, and shot him. Quickly, she reloaded and started her sprint toward the second servitor and the sea of dregs around it. She turned around to climb a set of stairs and heard a colossal crash. Fearing the worst, she made it to the servitor's level to find...

Well... she found the servitor with hairline cracks all over its surface, apparently reeling from a recent blast. Most of the dregs were dead except for a couple on each side.

She made quick work of the dregs while the titan gave the servitor one final punch.

"Well met, Hunter?" he said.

She nodded. "Well met, Titan." She looked to the sides. "Thanks for parting the dreg sea for me."

* * *

The two guardians sat on one of the catwalks, their helmets off. Their ghosts hovered off in the distance getting as much data as they could from the archive.

"So that's the story," the hunter said. "Somehow-- _somehow_ \--I have to get a Vex gate lord's head and bring it back to the queen. I've been running around Venus trying to get any information I can on Vex so that maybe there's a _chance_ that I can--"

"We."

"--maybe surv... what?"

The titan looked her in the eyes. "We. Us. Together."

The hunter blinked. "I can't ask you to go with me on this," she said, her voice breaking.

"And I can't let you dive into the darkness alone," the titan answered. He opened his mouth, thought to speak, then closed it. He stared at the ground for a moment, chewing his bottom lip. "I don't want my friend to get lost to the darkness. Not if I can help."

The hunter blinked. Must have been some dust in her eye. "Thanks," she whispered.

The titan smiled. "Of course." He shifted a bit. "So, what do we know about the Vex?"


	5. The Reef

The titan and the hunter stood outside the Queen's court while their escort cleared the way ahead.

"Anything I need to know?" the titan said. "Should I let the... uh..." He gestured awkwardly at the hunter.

She raised an eyebrow. "The native?"

The titan winced. "I'll let you do the talking, then."

The hunter shook her head. "I don't get any special treatment, here." She looked off to the side. "It might even be worse. It might just be their general attitude, but it was almost like I was..." She took a deep breath and turned back to the titan. "I'm a Guardian. That's what they see me as, that's how I see myself, that's what I am."

The titan smiled at her. "I'll still probably let you do the talking, though."

The hunter smiled back. "As if you could keep your mouth shut that long." She glanced behind him. "Have our present ready?"

* * *

"There is no shame in running away, Guardian," the prince in front of the queen said with a mocking grin as they walked in. "Apart from the cowardice and failure of it, it's an excellent strategy."

"We didn't fail," the hunter said strongly.

"Was no gate lord slain?" the queen said, not moving from her reclined position on her throne.

"Oh, we slayed a gate lord, all right," the titan said, perhaps a little too cheerfully.

"Titan," the hunter said, motioning at the ground in front of them.

In one motion the titan pulled the gate lord's head from behind his back and unceremoniously dropped it front of them. He made eye contact with the prince.

"We need to find the Black Garden," the hunter said.

The prince sneered back. "They don't even know where it is," he spat.

"Then let us tell them."

The prince's face flashed between fear and shock before settling on anger. He rounded on the queen.

"Why?" he said, not as quietly as he thought. "If you wish them certain death, why not kill them here?"

The queen turned lazily to the prince. "Often when we guess at others' motives, we reveal only our own."

The prince seemed taken aback by the accusation. "My motive is simply loyalty to a people..." He kneeled. "...a queen, and a sister."

The titan and the hunter both blinked.

"I now have additional questions," the hunter whispered.

The titan nodded. "Don't know what kind of House Lannister thing they got going on here, but I definitely wouldn't--"

"Definitely want in on that."

"--touch it with a--wait, what?" The titan turned to look at her, one eyebrow raised in confusion.

She just smirked back.

By this point the prince was carving open the gate lord's head. He pulled out the eye and passively watched as the glow slowly faded from it.

"Dead," he said with a haughty smile. "A wasted journey, I'm afraid."

The titan shrugged. "Eh, you know what they say, 'it's not the destination that matters.'"

The hunter turned to him. "No," she said, a little exasperated, "the destination kinda matters here."

The queen nodded. "Agreed. These are resourceful." She paused. "We gift it. In sympathy for their Traveler."

The prince's face fell. He stared at the eye, as if contemplating whether to crush it instead. When he turned to the guardians, he was glowering, angrier than they had ever seen him.

"Mars," he ground out. "84 north, 32 east. Meridian bay." He tossed the eye to the hunter who snagged it left-handed.

The queen rose from her throne. "Guardians," she said, still somehow sounding disinterested. "I have shown you benevolence. Should the Awoken need an ally I will call on you... and expect you to answer."

The prince sheathed his knife threateningly. "She's saying you owe us."

"Oh, I speak Queen," the titan responded. He looked up towards the queen. "I'll be happy to blow things up for you, Your Grace."

"And if," the prince said, clearly on the verge of being furious, "the situation requires a more delicate touch?"

The hunter smirked. "Then I'll keep him in line." She bowed slightly toward the queen. "Your Grace."

The guardians turned to leave, their ghosts hovering worriedly by them.

"Good luck getting through the exclusion zone!" the prince yelled behind them.

The titan rolled his eyes. "I'll exclude your zone," he muttered.

The hunter bit her lip. "I want to say that's the name of a dive bar in the city somewhere..."

The titan chuckled. "' _The Exclusion Zone_ : Hunger Not Allowed.'"


	6. All Ends are Beginnings

"Vague recording as always," the titan muttered. "Ghost, what's the details?"

"Hang on," his ghost said. "Okay, looks like there's a Vandal near here that's causing trouble. The Vanguard wants us to take it out." It spun in the air. "Looks like it usually hangs out near that cave over there."

"Think we can get him from a distance?" the hunter said, pulling out her sniper rifle.

The two took cover on a nearby hill and took aim.

Two shots. "Shanks are down."

Two more shots. "Dregs are down."

Four more shots. "Target still up."

Four more shots. "Target still up."

Eight more shots. "Target sti--Ghost, are we making ANY progress?"

The hunter's ghost spun in place. "No idea."

She sighed. "Do we have any sniper ammo synths?"

The titan stowed his rifle. "I'm out," he said. "I'ma go punch him."

While the hunter reloaded her rifle, the titan rushed forward toward the unusually strong Vandal. With a war cry ("For Midgard!") he leaped and Smashed the ground right in front of the Vandal.

It barely flinched.

The titan got to his feed and gave the Vandal an arc-infused punch. It staggered back a foot or so, then shook it off and just... waved?

The titan stood for a second, nonplussed. Finally, he waved back. "Hi?"

"Hey!" the Vandal said in an oddly high-pitched voice. "I'm Randall!"

Before the titan had a chance to process this, the hunter resumed shooting. Each shot struck its mark, and each strike was punctuated with a surprised "Oh!", a giggle, or a "That tickles!" from Randall.

"Ghost," the titan muttered to the side, "what do your sensors say about his stamina levels?"

The ghost spun. "It's... a very large number."

"Is it over nin--"

"Yes, it is."

The titan looked up to the hunter. The hunter looked back.

"Nope!" they both said as their sparrows materialized and they took off.

Randall's face fell just a little. "Oh, well," he said to himself. "Guess I go back to guarding the cave then..." He kicked the dirt. "Cave's empty anyway..."

* * *

"The Nexus: it's opening!" the hunter's ghost yelled.

The hunter and the titan surveyed the enormous Vex hydra from the top of the well.

"Got enough ammo for this?" the titan said as his ghost materialized his rocket launcher.

"Plenty," the hunter said, reloading her sniper rifle. "Just as long as we don't get any company up here."

"Um," the titan's ghost said, looking behind them. "Funny you should mention that..."

The titan turned around to see a minotaur coming toward them.

"Really?" he groaned, pulling out his shotgun. "Keep on the Nexus; I'll handle the adds."

The first and second minotaurs were made short work of, with enough time to spare to fire a few more rockets at the Nexus. The third took a little longer; a couple of stray shots squeezed the shotgun's already small magazine. The hunter kept up her slow-and-steady firing, taking time to dodge the Nexus' blasts and reload.

The fourth minotaur caught the titan flat-footed, and in a panic he Smashed. It destroyed the minotaur but left the titan disoriented, and when a blast from the fifth minotaur left his ears ringing, he fell against the walls of the tunner.

"Hunter!" he yelled, fumbling for his shotgun in a panic. He managed to get one shell in the chamber and immediately fired it at the minotaur. Its shield splashed but it kept rushing forward. "Hunter!"

He heard the sizzle of arc energy from her end of the tunnel, and she was suddenly _there._ Her blades cut through the last of its shield and then into its arms. Its legs were separated at the joint. And its head dissolved in a wave of blue sparks.

She stood there, letting the remainder of the energy fall off her, down her cloak and past her boots, her lithe figure glowing in the dim light of the tunnel.

"Well met, Titan?" she said.

The titan shifted. "My armor's a little tight, Hunter."

* * *

The warlock--an exo with silver and blue plating--led the hunter and the titan through the alleys of the city. "It's a hole-in-the-wall," he said, "but it's great."

"Okay..." the titan said uneasily.

The warlock glanced at him. "You don't believe me."

"I just... um..." the titan fumbled, knowing he was on shaky ground.

"You don't think I eat?" the warlock continued. "You think just because I'm a robot I can't appreciate a good chicken sandwich?"

The titan winced. "Sorry..."

The warlock shrugged. "No worries. Took me a week to figure out I needed to eat."

That brought the hunter up short. "Wait, serously?"

"Yeah," the warlock said with a weak smile. "Exos are weird." And with that they arrived at the bar.

The hunter read the sign on the door, then turned to the titan and grinned. "Told you."

The titan sighed and handed her fifty glimmer as they walked into The Exclusion Zone.

* * *

"You have to help me!" the titan's ghost nearly yelled, zooming over toward the hunter and her ghost.

"Easy, easy," the hunter's ghost said, floating over. "What's wrong?"

"I've made a horrible mistake," it moaned.

"I doubt that," the hunter's ghost said, attempting patience, "but go on."

"Well," it said, "I was browsing through some of the old pre-Golden Age archives."

"Out of curiosity?"

"Mostly. Every so often I wonder what humans were like before The Traveller arrived. It... helps me appreciate things."

"Fair enough. So what did you find?"

The titan's ghost twirled. "I found a massive collection. It was labeled with some pre-Golden Age fruit; not sure why. But it was essentially every piece of recorded music up to that point."

"That sounds amazing!" the hunter's ghost said. "What's the problem?"

The titan's ghost eye narrowed. "Have you _met_ my guardian?"

"Hey Ghost!" the titan said, strolling up to them. "Cue the music!"

With a longsuffering sigh, his ghost obliged.

"C'mon and SLAM! And welcome to the JAM!"

* * *

The titan ambled away from the assembly. As much as he loved being the center of attention, this was a bit much. While it felt awesome to have taken down the heart of the Black Garden, he wasn't sure he wanted that kind of attention. Thankfully, The Speaker wasn't lifting him and the hunter up on a pedestal, choosing to acknowledge them in the abstract. It made it that much easier to slip away to the hanger.

Of course the hunter was already there. She's a hunter; she probably went invisible and snuck out an hour ago. She and The Stranger were finishing up a conversation, or at least as much of a conversation that one can have with The Stranger.

"All ends are beginnings," she said. She turned to the titan and added, "Our fight is far from over," before striding away and disappearing.

The titan scoffed. "Oh, that is textbook enigmatic," he groaned.

The hunter turned to look at him. "Not staying for the ceremony?"

He shrugged. "I already got my reward."

The hunter smiled. "Honor? Dedication? The knowledge The City is safer?"

"That, and one of the minotaurs dropped an engram that decrypted into these!" He patted his arms, showing his new gauntlets.

The hunter's eyes got wide. "Do those have hand cannon loaders?"

"Eeyup." He motioned to the yellow rifle the hunter was holding. "She give you that?"

The hunter nodded, brandishing the weapon and looking down the sights. "Might take it into the Crucible some," she said. "Feels a little weird."

"About that," her ghost said. "I've done a quick scan of the rifle, and some parts don't show up on any parts list that I know of."

The titan shrugged. "So it's got some custom parts?"

"Made with alloys that neither I nor any other ghost have seen." It scanned the gun again for good measure.

They settled into an easy silence.

"It's been fun," the hunter said, finally.

"Yeah," the titan said with a smile. He took a breath and continued. "Actually, I'd like to keep working with you."

"Really?" the hunter said, raising an eyebrow and sliding closer to him.

"Yeah..." He scratched the back of his head and tried to fight off a blush. "I mean, I feel like we work well together, we've kind of got a good thing going, we've proven we can take down some major threats..."

The hunter slid a little closer. "And?"

The titan blinked. "And I..." His blush felt obvious to him. Or was that the blood draining from his face? "I might..."

The hunter sighed and grabbed his chest piece. "I like you too," she said, before pulling him towards her and kissing him.

The hunter's ghost floated to the titan's. "You owe me 50 glimmer."

**Author's Note:**

> Yeaaaahhhhh I might be writing about my and my wife's Destiny characters. This might be the closest I come to crackfic.
> 
> If you like this but don't feel like reviewing, I appreciated tumblr follows/reblogs just as much! Find me at plotholefragments.


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